Wednesday, September 2, 2009


Now, I know it is not strictly a vampire matter, but I am trying to branch out from the usual posts of saying things like "I had deer blood!!!" and such.

I recently purchased some new boxers (yes I am a boxer man....) and I wanted to post what they look like.

Disclaimer: The following pictures contain me in boxers. Mildly nsfw/nsfs.

This is what I look like in this pair of boxers. Below each picture will be a close up of the patterns.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Biting (Even if it is someone's idea of a joke)

My friend was over at my house today...he has a bit of an odd habit. When he has to go I give him a hug, then because he thinks that I THINK am a vampire (I have yet to come out and say that it is the truth) he thought he would be funny to lightly bite my neck (on the right side, not where the carotid artery is) while we were still embracing...The first time this happened I was like, "Ok, now it's MY turn" and I lightly bit him back (on the left side, the one that the carotid artery IS). I think there is something in our natures (a vampire's that is) that makes us "overreact" when we get bitten....something to do with the fact that we feel that someone is trying to take our blood...but we DO tend to overreact... I also think that for us there is something sexual about it....probably because basically as soon as we become old enough to be interested in sex we make the connection between blood and sex....sort of like good food and sex for humans....I was lucky that I caught myself. I still bit him (it would have looked odd if I did not given what I had said...) but I forced myself to do it in an extremely light manner (I probably bit him with less force than he bit me). The problem with all of this is that the friend does not know how close I was to biting him (rules be damned) and taking his blood. Every time he does it it gets harder and harder to control myself when I do it back (he expects me to do it...and at this point I probably could not stop myself even if I wanted to). I do not wasnt to hurt this person because he means a great deal to me, but I cannot bring myself to tell him to stop...even if it means my biting him and seriously injuring him.

Beef Blood

It totally rules to be able to cook when no one is home... I made some bean dip with beef on Tuesday and i only used half of the beef to make it. so I collected the blood from that half and put it into a small cup and drank it. It tasted so good....had sort of a spicy quality going down....and it gave me energy for the entire day. Then yesterday I made more and used the rest of the beef. I drank the blood from that too.... I actually think i creeped out my friend because he asked me to come into the computer room and help him relay his fortune that I had read for him to his girlfriend...I still had the blood in my hands and I was like, "Here hold this for me..." It gave me enough energy to last until today....actually i was not even hungry the entire day....I did not even notice that I had not eaten anything at all the entire day until 2ish when I went biking w/ some friends. I still was not hungry but I was like, "Whoa! I have not had anything to eat all day...." My first meal of the day actually occurred at around 5:30ish....Funny how just a little blood can give you enough energy to go the entire day without eating anything. I still feel like I'm up for a run....but I'll save that for later tonight.

Sunday, June 28, 2009


Tomorrow morning I will be having venison blood, among other things for breakfast. Even though it is an animal's blood, it still nourishes me and I am totally hyped up for it!


A lot of these posts are redirected from my old blog. Those that have been redirected are marked with an " * ".

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

My Vampiric Playlist

Recently I have found that music is a form of substitute for blood... It calms me down. So here is my vampiric playlist. Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day Rooftops - Lost Prophets Last Train Home - Lost Prophets 二つの鼓動と赤い罪 (two beats and red sin)- ON/OFF Wake Up - Lost Prophets Sending Postcards From a Plane - Fall Out Boy Sugar, We're Going Down - Fall Out Boy
All Again for you - We The Kings
Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace
August Is Over - We The Kings
白夜 (white night) - 宮本
Check Yes Juliet - We The Kings
Disturbia - Rhianna
Don't Speak Liar - We The Kings
Dragostea Din Tei - O-Zone
Duck and Run - Three Doors Down
Headlines Read Out... - We The Kings
Inner Universe - Yoko Kanno
Let's See How Far We've Come - Matchbox 20
Sakura Drops - Utada Hikaru
Numb - Lincoln Park
Paradise Lost - Hollywood Undead
The Quiet - We The Kings
Riot - Three Days Grace
Secret Valentine - We The Kings
Skyway Avenue - We The Kings
I tend to listen to these songs at night when I'm supposed to be sleeping...Nocturnal, remember? I now know most of these by heart...

*The Urge to Tell Others

One of the things that really "bites" (can't help but put a few of these in) about being a vampire is the urge to tell others what we are. I believe that this stems from the fact that while we go through all of the changes that we are experiencing, we tend to get lonely and think that we are the only one of our kind (at least in the immediate area...). For me, I tend not to get too cats help me cheer up... but I still feel lonely. I've always been something of a loner...I do not have any brother or sisters and I've always had only a small group of friends... so being alone is nothing new to me. But, lately I've been feeling that I am the only one of my kind around me. This may be true, but I do not know.

All that I know is that I have had the intense urge to tell someone what I am... I almost told my friend while camping what I am...but then he said "If it was anyone else going through the light sensitivity, he would just think they were going Goth or Emo..." Then I knew that I could never tell him...

It was the single most depressing thing I have ever thought.

There is also another friend that I would consider telling, but I need to do it in person... you cannot just e-mail someone about this, even if she probably would believe you... I'll just have to wait for when I next see her...

if she has any questions I would tell her though that she should e-mail me at

only about vampire matters though...for everything else she should just use my regular e-mail...

*Light Sensitivity II

I visited the ophthalmologist again and he checked my eyes. It hurt so badly when he shined that damn bright light in my face that I kept trying to back away from him (even though I was seated). He says that my eyes look perfectly healthy. I told him that I was still light sensitive. He is at a loss. Needless to say, I don't think that he has ever encountered a case like mine (which means that he has never serviced a vampire before). He was floundering around for an answer (they really don't know it all...) and he landed on the fact that I am taking a prescription drug for acne. I patiently told him that all of this hubbub started before I started taking said medicine (mynocyclene*(sp)). He did not listen to me... Such a foolish doctor I have never met.


I have recently been invited to go to Allegheny with one of my close friends. The only problem is that he does not know that I'm a Vampire... Now, this would normally not be a problem, except for the fact that I have not fed in a while (and even then it was from myself (not exactly the best way to feed as it actually does nothing for you...)) and as it so happens, he is one of the only people that I would ever consider telling about me (so the urge to do so is relatively strong especially when you cannot tell anyone about yourself). But now I am in a bind. It has been confirmed that I am going with him, but I don't know if I should tell him what I am or not... On the one hand, I believe that he has a right to know the truth about me. On the other hand, I do not want to ruin his trip and our friendship. One thing is certain though. Before I go, I must find a way to feed. I do not want to be outside with him for almost a week without feeding first...(what if he falls and cuts himself? Then what will I do?) The only problem is that I do not know how to satiate that hunger (thirst) without taking from (cutting) myself, and as earlier stated, that does nothing.

*Light Sensitivity

One of the things that Hollywood got totally wrong is the light sensitivity, Sunlight does NOT cause us to burst into flames! or melt! or any other absurdity that you have probably been told. Our eyes are very light sensitive though and for most of us (not quite all though) it is very painful to go outside without sunglasses. I believe that this is because our eyes are geared for a world of night...our sleeping schedules lend evidence to that...

Also, for vampires, sunscreen is a must! I myself do not burn that easily... I am lucky enough to be about 56% German and 12.5%-ish Hungarian. My genetic origins seem to protect me relatively well... However, I am constantly worried about sunburns... and tend to use quite a lot of sunscreen (you can never be too careful.)

Now back to the eyes. Personally, my parents are very worried about the light sensitivity. I myself see have no real problems with it, as long as no one asks me to take the sunglasses off... My parents have taken me to the optometrist and she gave me these horrid drops to put in my eyes... (she said that my corneas were inflamed...and that was probably causing the sensitivity...) she also told me not to wear my contacts for a week. so i was forced to buy these horrible sunglasses that are capable of fitting over my glasses... they caused sores on my nose and my ears...well a week later, i revisited the optometrist and she said that the corneas were perfectly healthy. I then told her that the sensitivity had not gone down... needless to say she was a mite confused...

Then last Thursday, my parents took me to the ophthalmologist... he thought that my contacts were too tight and told me not to wear them until i could get in to see the specialist... the specialist is not free until the 20th of August. so now I am stuck wearing those horrible glasses over my glasses again. the doctor also gave me drops that were supposed to help with the light sensitivity... in around a day he said. it has been four days and still i have noted no improvement. also they give me a horrible taste in the back of my throat*. also these drops burned the other day, i mean it was like i had a cut onion stuck in my eye! yet again something that this Vampire has had to deal with.

* so did the other drops.

*Vampires and the Modern World

This is a particularly good artical on

It deals with the roles that vampires play in the modern world.

*Blood Lust Images

One of the particular things that I find hard to bear about being a vampire is the images that accompany Blood Lust (BL). Yesterday I was in the throws of a particularly bad bout of BL and these images floated into my mind, unbidden. They were of loved ones in horrible situations. I will not go into the details, but each one was in a near death state. I'm sorry to say that my first real reaction was something like, "yum..." but then that was quickly followed with, "Oh my God! What is wrong with me!?"

Last night at around 1-ish, I had myself a good long cry. I cried for my loved ones' images and for my own humanity.

Before I was awakened I had always known that I was different from everyone else around me... and, still laboring under the delusion that one can actually be 'turned' into a vampire, I wanted to become one. Now, after actually finding out that I am indeed a sanguarian vampire, I wonder daily why I ever wanted to become this.

*Being Nocturnal

One of the things that most people do not realize about vampires is that, yeah we are nocturnal, but we also have to get sleep too. However, the world demands that we get up at around 6am (for me) just like everyone else, when we would love to be sleeping instead. Being nocturnal means that our bodies do not want to sleep until around 3 or 4 in the morning, but we still need to get just as much sleep as everyone else in the world. This can be a real problem, especially when in High School, like me. Also, it gets sooo hard when parents are constantly telling you that "you need more sleep!" "rest" assured that our bodies do want to sleep just as much as everyone else's, but it really does not help telling us that we need to get to bed earlier. Most of us know that we have to....but we just can't seem to do it though. What this means for me, is small one to two hour naps after school, or if it is summer (like now) sleeping in late! But this tends to mean that we have to deal with more complaints about our sleeping habits. Seriously people! It's like this, if you tell someone who has an annoying habit, that even they don't like, that they have to kick it; it is not going to do much good. It will only serve to irritate them and make them pull away from whoever is criticizing them. Also, what all of this means (for me anyway) is that i get super hyper at around 1-ish. Seriously, that is when i do things to keep myself busy (ie. chores). I actually fold laundry. I would do other useful things around the house, but it would probably wake my parents up if I started vacuuming at 2...


I did some henna to celebrate the summer! one was taken from an acupuncture book and the other is a tatto I saw on a porn star's hip. It looked so good on him that I had to copy it....

this went on my hip:

the tattoo not the man.

Another shot:

*Adam Killian works for Falcon Studios. They took the pics.